“With trial lawyers, rapport with the jury is very important.  An out-of-state lawyer may find it more difficult to connect with a jury, but it’s all about preparation.”  Howard Erichson

Rapport with the modern student definitely takes more preparation than it used to; it used to be so easy. So easy in fact that it was nothing I even had to try to do, because so long as I was my normal self, then organic conversations and lessons ensued. And that was enough to allow me to glean common fertile ground.  But now, the jury definitely takes some strategy to figure out.

A while back I taught a sophomore Reading class, which a lot of teachers shy away from, and I get that, but this year started out particularly smooth.  I did though, have one student in one of my classes that I could tell I needed to win over.  He wasn’t a problem student, but the potential was there and I was careful with him at the start of the year to figure out what made him tick so I could have some talking points.  Looking back, I don’t remember what our commonalities were, but if the class started to get loud, he would yell at everyone to stop disrespecting me.  I would smile and say “Thank you, Patrick for keeping your classmates in line!”  I just loved and appreciated it so much, hahaha.  It saved my voice and also saved me from having to stop working with a specific student because some group work was becoming too much group and not enough work.  

But, alas, with the dominion of smart phones and the decline in student communication skills, the rapport building is just not as easy as it used to be.  It’s still a vital necessity, but its something that has really had to become more intentional over the last few years.  I’m sure my own age plays into this as well.  I’m 15 years old than I was when I first entered the classroom.  Now, I have no idea what TV, movies or music they are talking about (thank Jesus, haha).  So, I just have to work harder to identify shared interests.

Whether you be new or seasoned, here are a few strategies that I employ to help find a good classroom groove with my students.

1. Observe what they wear.  This is not always reliable as far as what students actually know, but it’s a starting point.  For example, it’s funny how trendy it is right now to wear Selena shirts.  I see them all over school.  I was alive when Selena was popular and can only name one of her songs, but she was killed decades before these students were born.  I’d be shocked if they actually knew anything of her.  Last school year, a student was wearing a Tool band T-shirt and one of my coworkers said she loved Tool when she was in high school and asked what his favorite song was.  Blank stare, hahaha.  He just liked the shirt.
2. Look at their talents…or lack thereof.  Do they carry band instruments?  Sports gear?  Art supplies?  Something unique?  Or perhaps nothing at all?  Last year I had a student who carried an old 80s Walkman cassette player.  He carried a lunchbox fashioned after a Gameboy.  He thought he was born in the wrong decade and belonged in the 80s.  He was a pretty interesting student, and easy to build rapport with.  Partly because that good ol’ 80s life did not include cell phones, so neither did he have that to perpetually distract him.  Though his academic skills needed work, his interpersonal skills were quite high and easy to engage.  Conversely, a few years ago, I received a transfer student who showed up to his first day at his new school with no backpack, no writing utensil, no notebook and no cell phone.  All red flags.  I found both his parents’ arrest records.  Sometimes, what you don’t observe can tell you just as much as what you do observe.  I was not able to build rapport with that student, you really just cannot win them all.  He was passive and gave no management issues, but I was unsuccessful at trying to get him to be successful.
3. Discipline consistently and don’t play obvious favorites.  Sure, as teachers we tell our students we don’t have favorites, but let’s be honest.  There is almost always a student, or a few students, who stand out for sundry reasons, above the rest.  But the favorites should not be known to any of the students—not those who are the favorites and certainly not the ones who are not the favorites.  One year, one my favorites pushed the boundaries too much.  It was a ridiculous thing, but he refused to talk to me when he was instructed with the rest of the class.  It highlighted how elementary 16-year-olds can be.  Anyway, he chose to make it enough of a scene that I had to issue disciplinary action.  I cannot allow that kind of behavior at all.  And he was mad.  For a few weeks, actually.  But, he also respected me more for it and rapport was ultimately strengthened.
4. This is the most obvious one, but sometimes in the hubbub of daily classroom activities it goes by the wayside, but just listen to the students.  Listen to them when they come in talking about their weekend or day.  Listen in on their conversations without the intention of trying to catch them in some sneaky activity.  Just listen to get clues about them.  It will, eventually, pay off as you begin to really carve out your working classroom dynamics.

A very long time ago I went on an interview, and the AP interviewing me asked me if it were important that the students like me.  I said no, it wasn’t.  I certainly was not, and still am not, out to make friends.  But as I have gained classroom experience, I have come to understand the value of how much easier teaching can be when there is a solid foundational rapport.  Must students like and engage well with their teachers, not at all.  But it sure does help.

The following are some resources and lessons to help get students thinking, talking and building rapport with you and each other!

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Happy Teaching and Happy Rapport Building!

M.D. Saints
Reading the Rapids
Liberty Dog Writing Co.

P.S.  Two weeks ago I mentioned that parental contact/documentation log was in the works; that resource has indeed been posted in my Free Little Resource Library!  If you are in need of an easy way to keep track of parent/guardian contact, it is available and free to download for subscribers!  It is a formatted Excel spreadsheet template and fully editable and customizable for your classes.  If you’re not subscriber, click here, or on the large image banner on the home page to join!  

Easy rapport building with happy dogs! If only the classroom were as simple!